Real Eyes, Realize

There comes a time in our lives where we find out that life isn’t about trying to figure out.  Trying to have all the answers to life’s daily questions, we forget to live.  We are so wrapped up in the details of life that we forget that life’s detail is to live. Having been loved or to love is to live as life is meant to be, which may explain why many of us hold on to that unhealthy relationship, running in place, while our thoughts scatter and our hearts race always anticipating what we recognize as healthy only because it is familiar and a human’s need to be loved can supersede what real eyes, realize.

The heart feels, the eyes see.  Blinded by love, what is it that sees.  The heart sees and feels. it is the love that binds us that can blind us.  We are told to trust in our hearts for this reason, despite the scars of our past hurts or the heartache and pain that comes from a lost love, our heart is our pump of life able to sustain us at its mos+ damaged, heartbroken and lovesick because blind in love, we see with our hearts if we just remember that real eyes, realize.

A hearts desire ignites the hearts fire.  Its the eyes, giving us a peek into life’s soul, leaving us wondering and wandering.  A heart is our compass, always pointing in the direction we need to go, eyes focused on our final destination.  Life’s journey, with its blast of color shades and monochrome shadows have us question our vision.  A heart that beats is a heart that lives, a living heart, broken or bent provides us what we need, realize real eyes.

One heart, one mate and when two souls unite in a lover’s kiss a brighter light shines forever.  Light for sight, fire for desire, through our lighted sight and our fired desire, we look within and we begin to realize, with real eyes. 



My Inspiration


 In my entry today I am going to introduce you to an amazing artist, however, to me he is much more, he is my mentor, D.R. Lowe. A local artist here in Modesto has been recognized in his ability to manipulate digital photos and create open interpetations of surrealism throught his artistic expression.  I may be a bit biased in my opinions with our artistic expressions taking different forms he was the first to help me understand art, I have always appreciated art but didn’t always quite understand it.

He encourage me to share my talents but, there were times I felt my writing made me vulnerable because it was from the stream of my consciousness, thoughts of memories that caused me great harm or pain or sometimes even joy and happiness.  He explained to me that some of our best work comes from those “places” and are the best to write about as others can easily  relate and here I am today, writing and enjoying every minute of it.

D.R. Lowe is known for his digital art and the top quality of the finished piece.  Well, I told you he was my inspiration, my muse and I wanted to share a couple of his poems and in the next entry I will be sharing his artwork, some of which he has been recognized for and placed with.

Your feedback is and would be appreciated.  The next entry will be the first poem of his entitled “Effigy.” 

Facts and Random Trivia- Issue 1 Volume 1

I am excited to be bringing you the very first issue of Steven’s Facts and Random Trivia. In honor of celebrating my last day of Geometry I present to you facts and a list all about numbers.  Pull up a chair, take a bit of a breather and enjoy.  Look for Issue number 2 this Friday.

Any suggestions or topics you would like covered please let me know and I will see what I can do.


By The Numbers

The object in the game of Battleship is to sink all your opponents ships; The number of hits that requires is 17.

The U.S. Mint has circulated more than 390 billion coins since 1792.

Australia’s Burning Mountain is home to the World’s oldest fire, a coal seam that has been burning for 6,000 years.

7,000 tons of worn out paper currency is shredded by the U.S government ever year with a face value of $10 billion.

The last 60 years 3.000 people have climbed to the top of Mt. Everest, 200 have died there.

10% of Americans are left handed; 18% of American presidents have been.

Running for 4.5 miles, Bay Shore Blvd in Tampa, Florida is home to the world’s longest continuous sidewalk.

A 12 oz. of beer, 5 oz. of wine and a 1.5 oz. shot of vodka all contain the same amount of alcohol. 

There are 4 cars and 11 light posts on a $10 bill.

A Boeing 747 Airliner is made up of 3,100,000 square parts.



Steven’s Facts and Random Trivia- Announcing A Weekly Feature

I have tried many times to blog on the regular, being consistent and providing a blog that is unique and distinquishes itself from the others but have never been able to find my niche.   I have always enjoyed writing and I have a thirst for knowledge, especially when it comes to random facts and useless trivia, the kind of facts that are fun and interesting, not well-known and pretty obscure, the kind that makes you want to share with others.

I have decided to take my love for writing and share with everyone some of the random facts and trivia I have learned, making it a feature of my blog.   The weekly feature will be updated on Mondays and Fridays bringing you the most obscure and random facts.  I think this is a feature most everyone will enjoy.

Get ready for the obscure, the random, the unbelievable.  You will know everything there is to know about absolutely nothing.  Its Steven’s Facts and Random Trivia, His First Volume.

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Los Lonely Boys

Fear Yourself


I spent some time with a friend today and our conversations  went from one topic to the next.  Completely random conversations, not on any one particular topic, except one, being alone.  I am surprised, when this conversation comes up among my friends, nearly all of them do not like being and are scared of being alone.  Am I the only one that finds this absolutely insane?  My friends, are by no means insane, it’s just that fear of being alone I just have a hard time wrapping my head around.  Sure, there are times where fear is understandable, almost necessary, but to fear loneliness is fearing yourself.  

I have this belief that no one is ever really alone.  Sure, there are times where we FEEL lonely and perhaps those that fear loneliness are merely fearing the feeling of being lonely?  I never fear being alone, like most writers I do enjoy my solitude and keep a healthy balance between being an introvert and extrovert.  

When I explained my theory on being scared when alone, he flipped a gasket, which revealed to me that I hit a bit too close to home, here is my thing.
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I don’t think it is possible to go through life with the fear of being alone and question why that relationship failed, it is symbolic of FEELINGS and what we fear is not being alone, we are running from the FEELING not the fear.  It is when we are alone, we think, we ponder and we theorize.  To fear being alone, denying even the company of yourself, uncomfortable because you don’t know what to do when you are alone makes it absolutely impossible to know your inner-happiness and without knowing what makes YOU happy, makes it nearly impossible to recognize what makes others happy.

Los Lonely Boys… I just think we gay people like the drama and attention. OY VAY.

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The Gay Way List

It’s the GAY WAY LIST. A humorous look at our stereotypes and the things we say, what we do and what we have.  Stereotypes with sarcastic humor.  It’s the GAY WAY LIST.

We understand the difference between the 43 brands of imported vodka.

We can call anyone “honey,” including our pets.

We understand the immense importance of good lighting.

We can be at a crowded disco and still spot a toupee.

We really have “been there, done that.”

We are the only type of male who can say “fabulous.”

We can have naked pictures of men in our home that we don’t know.

We can have naked men in our home that we don’t know.

We understand why the good Lord invented spandex.

We understand why the good Lord didn’t intend everyone to wear it.

We only wear polyester when we mean to.

We can smile to let someone know we can’t stand them

We know the most important part of a party’s decor is the catering staff.

We are good friends with women others can’t stand.

We know how to get back at just about everyone, and have.

We always have an opinion.

We have read the book, seen the movie, done the musical.

We dress strategically.

We are the only ones at our High School reunion who looks better than when we were in High School.

We have framed picture of at least one pet.

If our mattresses could talk it would be Joan Rivers.

We know that sex complicates things. And so???

We know that being called a “cheap slut” isn’t actually an insult.

There is a married guy somewhere who is terrified of us.

We have a medicine chest stocked for every occasion.

We have at least one movie musical on video/dvd.

We are not embarrassed to sing in a piano bar.

We are embarrassed by people who do sing in a piano bar.

We never hold a grudge longer than a decade.. or two.

We know how to make an entrance.

We know when to make an exit.

We worry about people we don’t know, like Liza Minelli.

We have sunscreen at every conceivable SPF.

We think tanning beds were invented for us.

We have a cologne display worthy of Nordstrom’s.

We understand Joan Crawford.

We know how and when to play dumb.

We have called someone “girlfriend” who is neither a girl or a friend.

We made Donna Summer a star.

We made Donna Summer a has-been.

We make sunbathing a performance art.

We know when the party is over.

We know where to go after the party.

We are fearless when it comes to fighting gravity.

We know that pigs and bears are not always wildlife.

We will never have to hear our mother’s complain about our wife.

We all have a favorite Disney character and they are almost always a villain.

We have left someone totally speechless.

We have shaved something other than our face.

All our friends do not have to “get along.”

We have a large collection of anniversary pictures, however, they may be with different guys.

Our love handles are used as such.

When someone turns their back on us we consider that an opportunity.

We have the most interesting coffee table books.

We know every line in All About Eve, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Our face.

When throwing a party we know how to put out quite the spread… after the party.

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2012 to be continued . . .

Anahata chakra symbolizes the consciousness of...

Anahata chakra symbolizes the consciousness of love, empathy, selflessness and devotion.(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Like most everyone I always look forward to the New Year.  It is a time where we can wipe the proverbial slate clean and have another 365 days to get life right.  Facing new challenges that test our fortitude, embracing change or rejecting change based on new fears or ones of the old, choosing inevitably whether we will be the directors, dictating how this next chapter begins and ends or will we  just be the actor, taking direction of our life from someone or something that will, in the end be nothing but a production of our life based on their own self-interest or gain. giving up on our creative control despite our creative differences.

This year was supposed to have been much different than last.  A year where my life seen major changes and tested my strength like no other.  It left me exhausted and hopeless, giving up the production of my life for 365 days, becoming a mere actor in the production of my life, losing myself and what and who I was seemed like a life learning lesson and one that once I came to understand what was happening, learn from it and correct it I would never have to face that test again, as this year as proven so far I still have much to learn.

It seems like my altruistic ways leave me vulnerable and that doing for myself and doing for me is selfish and unattractive.  Why when others do for themselves their motives and/or reasoning for doing  is never questioned but when doing for myself it becomes a selfish act, inconsiderate of other. Why do some of us have to go through with life having to deal with a different set of standards and expectations?

I believe there are some I have allowed into my life who appreciate and respect my unselfish acts.  There are some who have come to expect my altruistic ways, taking advantage of my generosity and it is only when I step back do I take notice of what I have allowed to happen.  The circle of friends I keep, the ones I can depend on in a moment’s notice have always admired my inner strength and remind me of the personal challenges I have been able to overcome but why do I not see what they see?  I’m I blinded by my own humility?  Are we supposed to recognize the strength that others see in us?  Is it possible that someone can be too altruistic? Where some consider that a strength others see as a weakness.

Have I become a bystander in the production of my life?  How can I be giving and unselfish to some and self-centered and ego-maniacal to others? Have I become to naive to human nature that I am unable to recognize emotional manipulation?   When your empathy and altruistic nature is used against you for their own personal gain or self-satisfaction, am I at fault?  

I do not want to be someone who goes through the rest of my life jaded and I won’t if I become the producer of my own life.  I need to surround myself with those who embrace all the good in me, recognize that we all have flaws and take the good with the bad.  I am no means a perfect person but never will I manipulate emotionally for my own personal gain.  Allowing someone to manipulate a positive trait and turning it into something ugly but advantageous for them shows me my weakness, 

Perhaps it’s a lesson that I have yet to learn and why 2012 should have ended with, To be continued and not Happy New Year.

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Warning: List Of Sarcastic Sayings and Quotable Quotes

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.

6. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

7. Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

8. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention! It never fails.)

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

18 Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.

26 You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

27. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”

28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them

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Quotation Marks

You Don’t Say?

Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
When in doubt, just take the next small step.
 Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
 Pay off your credit cards every month.
 You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
 Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
  It’s okay to get angry with God. He can take it.
  Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
  When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
  Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
  It’s okay to let your children see you cry.
  Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
  If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
  Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
  Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
  You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
  A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
  It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
  When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
  Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
  Over-prepare, then go with the flow.
  Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
 The most important sex organ is the brain.
  No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
 Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”
 Always choose life.
  Forgive everyone everything.
  What other people think of you is none of your business.
  Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
  However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
  Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
 Believe in miracles.
  God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
  Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
  Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
  Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
 Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
 Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
 If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
  Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
  Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
  All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
 Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
  The best is yet to come.
  No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
 Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
  If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
  Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.